My 2012 Lessons for 2013

In 2012, I’ve learned a lot about….well a lot. It has been an eye-opening year, a heartbreaking year, a breathtaking year and overall, a revelatory year.

At the very beginning, 2012 taught me about embracing and learning from rejection. I learned that rejection may very well slap you in the face and punch you in the stomach BUT at times, rejection from certain things and people, is God’s way of protecting you from an ugliness that you could not foresee. I’ve learned that out of a first rejection comes a bigger surprise than you could ever imagine for yourself. Ultimately, rejection at times is a huge blessing in disguise.

2012 continued to teach me the art of loneliness. Being lonely is a funny thing because in your darkest moments of sadness and feeling cut off, you discover a lot about yourself and you are pushed towards the only person one who can bring you back to surface: our Father, God. I’ve learned that God usually places us in this place of being alone so we draw near to Him, seek His face, and come back to where we essentially belong. That is where the beauty of loneliness lies. Because in being lonely….you never really are.

Perception vs. reality is something I got quite a grasp on throughout 2012. The whole “all that glitters, isn’t gold” mantra really has some truth to it. We tend, as a human society, to unintentionally put people and things on pedestals. We throw glitter on EVERYTHING to make it shine and be this “good” thing but when it comes down to it, is it really what we have “made” it to be? Sadly, the answer is no. As I’ve gotten towards the end of this year, I’ve learned to dust off the glitter on a lot of people and things to see them for what they really are. And trust me, there was no gold underneath. That saying has taken on new meaning for me and now for the upcoming year, I’ve learned to really study and learn what is underneath all the appearance of “shiny and glitzy.”

Living in the United States for me has always been a sense of pride. I love my country and am proud to be a US Citizen. I’ve had the fortunate opportunities to travel outside of this country and when I come home, I am more grateful for all that I have and that we have, as a country. That being said, I’ve learned to appreciate the comradery of “community”this year. Some might say my perception of it is weird, but it’s my perception. When the legendary Whitney Houston passed, it was interesting to see the African-American community bond together and mourn her loss. I found it interesting because here was the shared love over good music, over something and someone who was big in the Arts of our lives and community. I loved that her Home Going service drew thousands of people to hear the word of GOD. They may not have realized it, but they allowed God and spirit of hymns and songs in their homes for those three hours. God knew what He was doing that day and I loved how He entered the homes through media outlets in all different types of ethnic backgrounds. The attack on Newtown, CT was heartbreaking for me as was for the USA as a whole. As a kindergarten teacher assistant, it broke my heart to see young lives taken. Lives being cut short this year have made appreciate even more than I already did, every DAY that I am living and breathing. It has made me make sure that I tell people on a day-to-day basis how important they are, how much they mean to me, their significance in this world, and how much I love them. LIFE took on an even more important meaning. Being in this country has taught me how much Psalm 91 is truly needed to be prayed to cover us and just how much more I need to help push the important of prayer along.

I have come, in 2012, to come to terms with learning to love “me.” It is a daily struggle but I heard a good word at church just the other day: “God created us in HIS image. Therefore He enjoy us. He enjoys what HE created.” – who am I to not love myself? God created me so therefore me not loving what He created is disobedience. I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin, learning to appreciate what I have to offer. 2012 tried it’s very best to rip me of that but I learned that the core of my existence is HIM and that simple fact, is all I need to live life and to love myself.

Overall, 2012 and I very rarely saw eye to eye. Blow upon blow came and there were times that it hurt so bad, I just wanted to quit. I cried at least two-three times a week, EVERY week this entire year. But today, on the last day of 2012, as I look back at ALL that has occurred in this year – I realize, it was all worth it. In 2013, I have only one expectation: and that is the expectation that God is going to do what He wants to do with my life. It’s not about me, or my plans or what I want. It’s about what GOD wants FOR me. So as I go into 2013, I say “have your way in my life God and do as You see fit.” To 2012 I say, thank you. Thank you for both the pain and the smiles. The year brought on life long lessons that have helped mold me for a greater good.

To 2013 – here we go.

Blessings & xo,

Nicole

Your Life Is Not Your Own

Before I begin my post for today, let me make a humorous but truthful disclaimer: I am a HUGE music person. I LOVE worship music, love praise music, love dance ministry….I’m always singing – either to myself or aloud. A lot of my thoughts and posts simply come from lyrics that truly touch and/or move me.

That being said...

A few months ago I heard “Not My Own” by Myron Butler feat. Tasha Cobbs. Of course, I loved the song at first listen. In weeks following the first time I heard that particular song, a lot of other music I read or scriptures and quotes I came across, all centered out God being the ultimate creator of US. And that REALLY stuck out to me.

God created us. He created us in His fashion, in His image. He molded us uniquely and individually so that no person is like another. We each have what makes us set apart, what makes us different, what makes us unique unto Him. Better yet for deeper thought, God knew us before He even CREATED us in our mother’s wombs! My question I pose to all of that is, why is it so difficult for us to do the simple things that God asks of us? Who are we to tell God NO, to deny Him request of something He asks us to do for Him? I’ve heard and seen people cry out constantly for God to do something in their lives, for Him to move mightily; but quickly in the same breath, they say “NO”to something God asks them to do.

Let's look at the story of Jonah.

Jonah was a young man; living his life, living for God. God tells him to preach repentance to the city of Nineveh. Granted the city was known for its wickedness and was an enemy unto Israel; but God asked Jonah nonetheless to go and preach truth. Jonah did the complete opposite of what he was asked. He said no, headed down to Joppa, hopped on a boat and went in a direction AWAY from Nineveh. Jonah 1:3 reads “But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarnish.” (NIV). ----Jonah ran AWAY from the very man who created Him. WOW.

*read the rest of the story to find out what happened to him!* (smile)

I know before in my life there have been times that I may have ducked away from God or tried my hardest to fight against something He asked me to do. But then reality set in and I realized that was not a right way to live my life. My life IS NOT MY OWN. God created me. He didn’t have to but He did. I owe EVERYTHING to Him. I am obligated to Him. And I have absolutely no problem with that.

So the next time God asks you to do something…even if it is something as simple as holding the door for someone….think very HARD before you say NO. God created YOU….you owe it to Him to happily do His will.

Love & Blessings,

Nicole

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Lyrics to: "Not My Own" by Myron Butler ft. Tasha Cobbs

All to Jesus I will bring
I surrender everything
Not my will but Christ in me
I’m Yours

Undeserving I receive

Everlasting love for me
All I ever want to be
is Yours…..

And oh its amazing how You love me….

My life is not my own

I live for You alone
My life is not my own
I am Yours…

Overwhelming love revealed

Deep is calling deeper still
I surrender to Your will
I’m Yours…

And oh its amazing how You love me…

(link to song!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Inb_PXSPbRA

Ordinary Servant

About a month ago, a dear friend of mine was ministering at a Youth Conference. Before he brought forth the Word, he shared with the congregation, a song that God had laid in his spirit/on his heart. ["Ordinary Servant" by Sha' Simpson] This particular song has continued to resonate in MY spirit since then. I put the song on my phone so I could listen to it (which I did relentlessly). :)

"I'm just an ordinary servant, willing to be used
For whatever You have for me to do
I'm just an ordinary servant, may be least qualified
But I offer You a sacrificial life

For I believe if You can use a shepherd boy and turn him into a king
Then I believe that Your ordinary servant
Has an extraordinary purpose
Lord, use me for whatever You please

I'm Your ordinary servant
With an extraordinary purpose
Lord, use me for whatever You please

(Bridge)
In my life, I made You everything
In my life, no one compares to thee
In my life, Your presence is all I see
In my life, You're everything..."


My post this evening is just to express my sheer JOY of just being a servant unto God. For me, there is nothing greater than to serve the one, true, living God. Some people, once in the kingdom of God, seek advancement, titles, flashiness, etc. Honestly, the simplicity of just being able to BE a servant and knowing God loves someone LIKE ME....I'm content forever. To know He called David - a shepherd to be a King over His people (refer to the book of 1 Samuel to learn more of David's story)............leaves me awestruck with such peace in knowing my servitude is precious and has a pathway leading to EXTRAORDINARY purpose. Everyday I ask the Lord to use me in whatever way He needs. I willingly and happily offer Him my life - HE gave me life so who am I to deny Him, our Lord, of using it as He sees fit? (something to think about). Servanthood unto the Lord is truly what I love.


I challenge you to look and see if you have positioned yourself as an Ordinary Servant. Sometimes we say "yeah...I'm serving God. I pray." -- take a deeper look and seek out what it means to be a real servant unto God. I can only speak for myself so I can say....I used to think I was serving God just simply by reading my Word, being dutiful in prayer, and going to church. But one day God really dropped into me "was I doing all that I could?" -- I prayed and did some deep searching --gave EVERYTHING (& I mean EVERYTHING) over to God & became dedicated to being His servant.....BEST decision I have EVER made. So again I ask you to look & see if you positioned yourself to an ordinary servant - no glitz or glamour - unto God. :)


Blessings & Hugs,
Nicole


Here is the link for the song!!! It's awesome!
"Ordinary Servant" by Sha' Simpson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVwFNHB5BNQ




Definition of Servant: one that serves others <a public servant>; especially: one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer



*an interesting & informative read*
"Servant of the Lord" ~ Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology
http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/bakers-evangelical-dictionary/servant-of-the-lord.html

MARK 16:15 --- "And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone"

About a week or so ago, I was at the store and saw a piece of canvas artwork that had a VERY interesting and profound statement on it. It hit me like a sledgehammer and stuck with me. Due to preparing for our church conference that was held this past weekend, I never got the time to post. I kept wanting to but it just didn't work. Humoursly enough, I NOW know and see that it wasn't time yet TO post. I needed to be at the conference and hear the Word that the Ministers were bringing forth in order to tie them AND the quote, together. (I LOVE how God works, don't you?!).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"YOUR SPARK CAN BECOME A FLAME AND CHANGE EVERYTHING."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Last weekend, a lot our speakers touched base on seeking out and igniting the priceless treasures that God has inside of us, to better the world and make a difference. One of the speakers stated "What God's getting ready to do, we (us believers) can't be 1/2 way in and 1/2 way out." In otherwords, I see that as: our "spark" can't always stay a spark forever. Either it will die out or burst into something larger. We can't have one foot in the "world" and the other "for Christ." We have to make a decision. Sadly enough, today we live in a world where many things are negatively charged. Children & Young Adults are blaitantly offered a hand into a negativity - through society, television, music, etc. It is readily available. Think of how MIND BLOWING it would be if you would take the spark for Christ that is inside of you and let it erupt! All it takes is one persons flame to spark another flame, and then another, and then another and......so on.

Biblical Example: Think about Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah -- otherwise known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. (Daniel 3). Their belief & love (their spark) for God was major to begin with. When they were brought before King Nebuchadnezzar, their spark burst into a bigger flame. They refused to back down from what they knew and believed, to bow down to a false idol. Interestingly enough (to me at least), THEIR flame that was changing everything was tossed inside of a fiery furnace. I believe that THAT just made their flame even more POWERFUL to effect things. Most of you know this story (if not read DANIEL 3), and know that the King was in awe of GOD. Their flame changed everything in that matter. Just their pure belief, love, and respect of the Father God.

Some of you may be asking, HOW does any of this make sense? Another speaker from our conference said, "This is a season for enlargement." Tie that statement into a spark becoming a flame and changing everything....! WHOA! Think about just how if you tell someone about Jesus, what He has done for YOU, how He has changed your life....invite a friend over for Bible Study and prayer and just for discussion about the goodness of the Lord. Your spreading YOUR FLAME to effect another so that eventualy we can change EVERYTHING and better this nation, this world to be in love with the very creator of our Universe. Get in your word & spend more time in prayer to feed your own spark so that it can burst into a HUGE FLAME. LET'S BECOME FLAMES TOGETHER AND BRING THIS NATION TO CHRIST!

Love & Blessings,
Nicole

Encouraging YOURSELF

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. There are some days that those you want or need to be around, to pump you up or give you hope….they are not always available. I've come to realize that many times, THOSE are the moments that God wants you FOR and TO Himself. He wants you to revel in Him, rely solely on Him, ask Him, trust Him, & believe Him. HE LOVES US! Even when we feel worthless, even when we feel like a disappointment, when we feel like we've done nothing right….God knows our ways, our thoughts, our LIVES. He knows it, from the beginning to the very end. And yet He STILL loves us. That is the most incredible and astounding piece of information that can ever be told and given to us.

The picture I posted (which I hope showed up!), is something I look at DAILY to simply just encourage my own self. For over a year and even more within 2012, God has really put me in a place to withdraw away to Him. It has certainly been challenging AND lonely. It's left me in tight spots, questioning many things. But each hard step along with each day, has strengthened my relationship with the Lord. It's allowed me to get to know the person who created me, better. So when I came across this picture, it made me smile because of all the truth that it so simply states.

Like Donald Lawrence sings:

"…Sometimes you have to encourage yourself.

Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test.

And no matter how you feel,

speak the word and you will be healed;

speak over yourself,

encourage yourself in the Lord."

Blessings & Love,

Nicole

PS: And for ME, writing this blog in itself, is encouraging to me! Prayerfully it will encourage you!



*His Mercy is new EVERY morning*

"...Where would I be, if not for Your grace?
Carrying me, through every season.
Where would I be, if not for Your grace?
Came to my rescue, and I want to thank You
for Your grace....

Grace that restores, grace that redeems,
grace that releases me to worship.
Grace that repairs, visions and dreams,
Grace that releases miracles...." ---- Israel Houghton


Lately, I have taken the time to reflect on A LOT of demur and trying situations that I have been through. More than often, the bottom completely fell out (or it seemed like it did) and I was left feeling I couldn't survive anymore, that I wasn't good enough, that I wanted to quit everything....and so the list goes. Some of these detrimental occurrences were my own fault & doing and others were simply an attack of the enemy. There had been plenty of moments where I was close to ending it ALL but as it said....BUT GOD.

My love for God is and always has been, unfaltering. I make it no secret that I love the Lord. But during this time of reflection, it has been amazing to see how many different ways my love for God grows on a daily basis. It truly has made me appreciate the lyrics I posted at the beginning: "WHERE would I be IF not for HIS grace?" -- where would YOU be? His mercies are new every every morning and I CONTINUALLY thank and praise Him for that. Granted, everyday presents new challenges, trials, some heartbreak, some frustration, and disappointments. I, myself, am human & struggle with those same things every week. But I remind myself where God has brought me from and what He has brought me THROUGH and that is one of the things that makes EVERY DAY worth it and AMAZING.

I share all of this to encourage whomever is reading this. Ask yourself, "where would I be without God's grace, carrying me, through every season?" Whatever it is you may be going through may be dismal right now, but think of what He has brought you through and from already. The Word says "...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13:5b, KJV) Hang on to THAT & rejoice NOW  because your trials are only for a season! His grace sustains us & keeps us, He will never leave us. So that means He will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS bring you through - no matter how bad it looks. And then you will be able to look back and say to Him, "you came to my rescuse, and I want to thank You for Your grace." -- God loves you, His grace & love is EVERLASTING & He will always be the midst of you/us. (Zephaniah 3:17)

Blessings,
Nicole

Crying to God for change....but will you make a sacrifice?

A few weeks ago after a conversation with someone, I was listening to the song “Yes” by Shekinah Glory. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYurqlr1E7g&ob=av2e) And God really started speaking and sharing things with me.

Often times, people get fed up with the situations they are in or have been in - the negativity, the hurt, the loneliness, the fear. This happens for both believers in Christ who have hit rock bottom and those that are still seeking to establish a relationship with the heavenly Father. A person finally gets to their wits end and cries out “God help me, God please change me, I need you….” And our loving Father is always willing to come to His children’s cries. When the bottom falls out, it is the most simple and easy step; to reach out and call out to Him.

But the question that comes along with that is:

Asking for change from Him, what are YOU willing, yourself, to change?
Like the minister sings in the song I mentioned at the beginning, “there is more that I require of thee…”. Another key part that I hear her say at the beginning of the song during the intro is: “I’ll forsake MY way for YOUR way God…the very thing I don’t want to do, I’ll do.”

We have to start recognizing that with the core catalyst for change in our lives being GOD, we ALSO have responsibility. We can’t just ask God for change and expect to “POOF”, see results with no work.

**Example**
A young person feels dark. Feels alone. Does nothing but goes out constantly. Clubs. Parties. Drinks to solve problems and not deal with emotions. Drugs. Destructive behavior. Seeks for answers and solutions in others. Spends countless nights crying. Drives self insane with thinking and being in depression. Asks for prayers and seeks council. --- next day, following week, following month, following year --- repeats behavior over and over again. Fast forward some time: that young person finally has enough and hits rock bottom and cries out to the Father - next, he or she gets up; & REPEATS the SAME behavior still again; but this time, all the while constantly crying out to God. Something within that HAS to give.

What I’m trying to say is, we can’t keep doing the same thing that keeps resulting in the same null, void, and empty response & crying out “FATHER GOD! CHANGE ME, FIX ME I NEED YOU!”, in the same breath. I have been in a boat very similar to the example I gave. I give all thanks and praise to God for instilling certain things in me at an early age that I had the knowledge to know that once I hit my bottom; I had to forget everything that I THOUGHT I knew & DO the “very thing I didn’t want to do but needed to do”; in order for Him to help me and pull me through to where I needed to be.

Changes are NOT easy. That is something even the youngest of the young can feel; if not understand. In “Yes” she sings, “Yes might cost you everything.” From experience, I can say it has costs me a good number of personal things. But I know that if I had not said yes, if I had not taken my responsibility in my cry for change years ago; I’d still be stuck - wondering, questioning, depressed, and hurt. Making the decision not only to truly reconnect my entire being to Christ for TOTAL CHANGE but to also WILLINGLY get rid of the things hindering me was the BEST decision I’d ever made. Of course things and people come along to try to sway my decision; & when they can’t- slander, attitudes and hurtful things fly my way. But I am FIRM in what I believe in and stand for. And with God, I know that I am covered under the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91).

All that said: if you know someone in a boat similar to what I‘ve explained --the person is coming to you for prayer about being alone, feeling sad, and wanting God to change them - or if this is YOU…..just remember; God is always, ALWAYS there waiting to take a hold of your hand. Just remember, with your other hand; you also have work to do also. *smile*
　
Here are some scriptures that I stood on and read in my tough times & that I believe parallel my post :)

*Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV)
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

*Matthew 5:33-37 (NLT)
“You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.’ But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne. And do not say, ‘By the earth!’ because the earth is his footstool. And do not say, ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the city of the great King. Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.”

*Philippians 3:12-14 (NIV) --one of my FAVORITE ones!
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

*John 8:12 (KJV)
“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

*Matthew 16:24-27 (NIV)
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.”

And here is something I found online:
Luke 14:25-35 (NIV)
The Cost of Discipleship or Being A Disciple
Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out. “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
(http://www.jollynotes.com/)



Blessings & Love in Christ,
Nicole :)