I Have A Testimony!

In my own walk with Christ it hasn't been the most consistent. I have times where I was speaking as some dub "Christianese" and other times when I have a severe lack of faith. But your walk with Christ is your own because it is a personal and intimate relationship with the Father. However, you will be surprised as to how many people can relate to your story. Sometimes, especially in a storm, you feel alone, isolated, helpless not realizing that there are people who may be in a similar situation or have been in a similar place. Or on the flip side, you don't share the good things of Christ because you wonder who is going to listen, care or relate- as if that blessing is specific to you.

I say all that, to give a little bit of my story in the hopes that it can be a blessing to others who will read this.
Here goes it...

I had stopped going to church for over a year between end of 2008 and mid 2010. In that time, I truly lost my way or even more so, I turned my back from the only way- Christ. I recall back to August of 2010 where I was transitioning from over two years of employment with one organization to unemployment. I had opportunities to go other cities and to remain with the same organization but I felt a serious stirring in my spirit to come back to Christ. I felt that God, despite of myself, sins, and ways, was calling me back to Him.

I knew I could reach out to people to encourage me and to get back to a place where I was following God's will and not my own. Surprisingly, however, He chose a friend to introduce to me the 30 Day Prayer Challenge. She and her then boyfriend were going through the challenge that essentially challenges you for 30 days to pray, read the word, and overcome burdens that have you bond. Excitingly, I committed to the challenge with Nicole and to say the least it was a BLESSING! God really worked on me through the month of September. I felt restored, renewed and grateful. That same month amidst that challenge I also started going back to church.

But as the saying goes "the greater the level the greater the devil". I knew without a doubt that I was going to new levels in Christ but that offered greater enemies to attack me. While I was grateful to be back in church, to have been restored and renewed, the spirit of depression started to rear its' ugly face telling me that I'm hopeless because I was yet and still unemployed. I hid my depression putting on a happy face for the world and only letting a few close friends (like Nicole) in on what was really happening. I felt trapped! My bills and the pressure to pay were building but no incoming was coming in. Instead of giving it all to God as I know I should have, I wanted to give up. Ironically, what I kept so secretive I then shared with the Facebook world and posted a status as to how "I didn't want to be here anymore". What is so great about this is that God showed up and showed how GREAT HE IS! I did not think people would be able to read between my ambiguous statement but they did. Folks from church, friends, and family all were chiming in about how great God is, how He has a purpose for my life and that I must live and make a liar out of the devil. Though in that very moment of reading everything I didn't just say "okay, I'm not depressed anymore" I did however decide to give it all to God. That very Sunday at church God had a word prepared just for me! The message was simple Psalm 118:17 I share live and not die and declare the works of the Lord! How power and right on time that word was. Amidst thinking about taking my life God sought it fit to use one of His children to send forth that message. Needless to say, I was changed from that moment forth.

Now, you may be saying but you are still unemployed and the problems are still there. While that is true, I would add that the problem no longer was mine to handle (it really never was). I gave it to God and I rested on Philippians 4:6 which says Do not be anxious [do not worry] about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Need I say more? I did not worry because I made it known to God what my needs were and I knew He would work it out in His timing.

So at this point, I am restored/renewed, back into church (which should not be sold short- the assembling of the saints is important), and I have overcome the spirit of depression and suicide. God favored me because even in the mist of all of this I was accepted into Eastern University’s Master of Science in Nonprofit Management program. Isn't God just SO GOOD!?

The New Year came in and I just knew that this was my time! With grad school in the near future, having become more active in the church, I just saw a job in my future! And guess what, He proved Himself right again. In mid January, a former leader of the organization I had mentioned earlier sent me a job posting- a job just perfect for me. A job, only God could have sent my way. A job offering more and better than I would have had had I stayed with the other organization. Needless to say, I applied and went through the rigorous interview process. On February 15 2011, I started my new job!

I am now happily working and in grad school. While everything is not perfect I know where I am is exactly where God wants me to be. Even more important, when the next storm comes (because there will always be a storm to test your faith, challenge you, and strengthen you) I will be prepared and equipped to fight and endure.

If you are in a storm just know that God has His hand on you. He has not forgotten about you. If He can prove His self mighty in my life I know He can and WILL do it for you. Just trust in God and put all your faith in Him. Don't let the devil win! You are more than a conquer! The storm will be over and you will be better because of it. God loves you. So if you weeping now, look for the morning because that is when the JOY comes.

I thank you for reading my rather personal story. I hope it is a blessing to you all.

Grace and Peace,
Nadirah M.